Oh, Hello Substack! (a mini introduction & update)
Cheers to joining the substack fold (almost 2.5 years in the making)
Well hello & hi! It’s finally happening - my name is Meghan, and I guess I’ll give a brief introduction to myself & this little writing space.
I currently have 7 drafts of posts sitting in my draft box for who knows how long… I’ve written sporadically through emails, blogs, and letters to people I love, but I’ve been toying with the idea for a while now of utilizing this platform. The longer I silently lurked from afar, the more I fell in love with what was happening on Substack! It truly seems like such a cool gift in the writing world.
I suppose I’ll be editing this intro post as the weeks go by and more of my writing style and topics take form out of the chaotic abyss in my mind. (FYI, I am one of those humans who, as they are walking around in the world doing a million and one things, are also simultaneously writing in their heads, mulling thoughts over, chewing on concepts, & mostly attempting to paint words out on the inner canvas of deep-and-never-ending feelings; I honestly can’t remember a time in my life when words weren’t flowing out & through me, and maybe that’s who you are, too!)
But for the last 5 or so years, I felt led to quiet my words and let them stay mostly internal. Although this was a bit odd for my way of being, I think it quite literally was a gift from God — used generously in my continued healing and salvation (which we could argue from the Greek word sodzo are really just one and the same! But I’ll save that for a later post…). After getting my Master's in Theology abroad and returning to my “desert” season, the discipline of being still and limiting my words was exactly what God knew I needed. I still remember one moment before coming home: on a dark and silent walk back from the library, while colleagues chased book deals and speaking gigs, I sensed God inviting me to dial down and go quiet upon my return—because there was still much to learn.
The clarity startled me, but the instruction settled like a steadying gift.
So, I’ve been in the wilderness with my Lord ever since —going through many moves and housing situations, several life-threatening pregnancies, ministry woes and struggles and graces, dark night-of-the-soul wrestlings over vocation and calling, what it means to inhabit the exilic land, and everything in between. But the invitation to be still, although I initially warred against it, has been so good for my whole conformation to Jesus.
Recently, a few trusted folks & I have felt like the winds have been shifting and that there may be some space to start sharing again through writing and journeying with others along the way; I can’t tell you how much the suffering of these past 5 years has generously broken my will & poorly ambition and replaced it with a hunger to behold all that is good & noble & true without forcing all that is not. (And I promise you, lest you think I’ve given up on self it’s been quite the opposite (!) and I hope that reality comes through my words in coming posts). But this is the gift of suffering and growing with Jesus; as we learn to trust him with all of our deepest and most tender desires, longings, and hopes, that trust then allows for a whole shift of being. For me, it’s looked like a shift away from interpreting the things around me that are lacking as simply a ‘withholding’ from God to seeing the perceived lack as, just maybe, a kind mercy? Or even protection? Whatever it’s been, I’m slowly coming to know, more richly, that Jesus made me, knows me, and understands me… and that I can entrust my deepest hopes to him because he is good.
Although parts of these kinds of introductions feel oddly vain to me (sorry, but are they not?!), for the sake of clarity and transparency (and laying out my biases!) I’ll share a few basic things for your reading pleasure:
I’m a wife to the most amazing, humble human, who works with me both in home and occupation. I’m a mom to two of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known.
I’m a Scandinavian Minnesotan, and oh, am I proud of it. We’re a hearty & strange people who have so much goodness to offer the world amidst our shortcomings.
I currently serve as a pastoral minister and teacher with a campus ministry and find some of my greatest joy in seeing God unlock potential in all of his people.
Trained as a historian, I therefore read, write, see, study, and report through the primary lens of a historian. I’m trained to see patterns & deal with primary evidence & tell stories, which has been an ever-growing gift in my life.
I’m at my most vibrant and joy-filled when I get to sit at the intersection of the church and the academy, and I sense that one of my vocations is somehow straddled in that good and hard gap.
Due to my love for bridging that gap, I went off and studied theology in Scotland at the University of St Andrews under NT Wright (yes, he’s as wonderful & kind in real life as you think he is), writing primarily on the reclaiming of theosis in the West (if any of you are interested in this, I can for sure write more on this topic).
I’m in the process of launching a podcast with my academic mentor and incredible friend, Dr. Steven Matthews, or “Doc,” about bringing the foreign world of ancient Christianity to reconstruct the worldview of today. Together, we are an Eastern Orthodox Christian and an Eastern-curious Christian on the journey (listen in to figure out who is who). I couldn’t be more thrilled; it’s been 3.5 years in the making, but we are actively recording our first season as I write. The world isn’t ready yet for Doc’s wisdom.
But truthfully, I’m at my best just living life in Northern MN — diving deep into my amateur passion for gardening flowers and veggies, loving on my wily chickens and pup, seeing the world through my kiddos’ eyes, sipping good coffee & sharing dreams with my sweet husband, and hiking & swimming & running around the woods to my heart’s content; what a magical playground our world is! (But truly, the Northwoods is God’s country.)
I’ll lastly share that when I lived in St Andrews, some of my favorite beauty of all was found in the many stained-glass windows that sprinkled the cobblestoned streets. The panes that I gravitated towards the most were full of blues & greens & sunset oranges, the kind that never stops taking your breath away. Anywhere I walked and saw them (which was commonplace for my location), I was drawn in like a bug to a big fat light, ever wanting to get closer & closer in hopes of soaking up those radiant hues. But the more I looked at those precious windows and truly looked at them, the more I realized that I didn’t just love their physical beauty, but I was also awakening to their theological beauty, as well. The power and magnificent story-telling of stained glass only come to us when light is shining directly through it, and I couldn’t help but think of the beautiful (and somewhat direct) correlation stained glass offers us to the icon imagery of human beings: beings that are only able to share stories of goodness & offer up powerful motifs of hope when God’s Divine life & light are poured through us.
So, I guess that’s kind of why I’m writing here. If you’d like to join me in my desire to search in wonder for the ‘stained-glass drenched moments’ in life through writings & thoughts & beauty, then come along on the journey with me as we attempt to string together words about the majestic Divine life & light that flows through all of Creation.
Be well, friends,
Meghan
